A world where truth reigns and the inhabitants are happy is nothing more than a utopia. Such a reality is impossible, because people subconsciously avoid destructive truth in order to defend themselves. But a popular proverb says: "Better a bitter truth than a sweet lie." What exactly does this expression mean and is the truth really better? Let's try to figure it out.
Place of lies in everyday life
The proverb "Better a bitter truth than a sweet lie" has been known to everyone since school. And probably everyone faced such a dilemma: tell the truth or lie. Indeed, sometimes the only way out is to hide the real state of affairs.
"Better a bitter truth than a sweet lie" - this proverb is bipolar, because no matter how you look: lying is bad and something needs to be done with the lie. But on the other hand, the world exists only thanks to lies. For instance, political leaders call third world countries "promising" and "ready to develop", not "backward". Many will call this the rules of decency, political or business etiquette, when in fact it is a lie.
But it is precisely this lie that allows states to peacefully coexist with each other. After all, it is likely that if you call a country underdeveloped, then a war will start. But this time not for resources, freedom or territory, but for the offended self-esteem of its inhabitants.
The lies that hold society
Any information that a person deliberately hides or presents in a distorted form can be called a lie. And in everyday life there is a lot of room for lies: children's fairy tales, non-existent characters, rules of behavior, according to which a person cannot express all his discontent in person. And this is only a small part of the lie, thanks to which one can observe relative peace and tranquility in society.
But can the truth be found in this case? Mark Twain once said, "Only children and fools will tell the truth." The conclusion is clear: it is common for wise and adults to lie.
Truth is needed
The truth is so unpleasant that it is difficult to come to terms with it. Of course, it is good to know, if there is nothing to hope for; this gives the person freedom of further action. But not everyone will be able to proudly raise their heads and accept the bitter truth. With the dilemma "Which is better: a bitter truth or a sweet lie?" British scientists tried to cope. During the experiment, patients from UK clinics were interviewed. The respondents were asked if they would like to know the whole truth about their disease.
The study found that 90% of patients want to know only the truth. They are sure that in such matters, a bitter truth is better than a sweet lie. Many healthy people believe that patients should not know everything, but the majority of patients claim that they would like to have information about the severity of the disease. Indeed, in the event of a fatal outcome, they will definitely know that they have a certain time limit and will not waste it.
Paradox
As you can see, people really demand the truth. But when they begin to be mistaken about what is important to them, they easily plunge into an ideal world, created by lies for salvation. A person does not like lies and despises them in every possible way, but at the same time it is impossible to find someone who speaks only the truth. Lying to your boss, hiding your real thoughts from friends, telling your parents that everything is fine at work, but actually solving problems and smiling in response to the question "How are you?" - these situations are familiar to everyone. The embarrassing truth is one of those things that people choose to ignore.
But a bitter truth is still better than a sweet lie. Lies have one unpleasant feature - they will be exposed. And when the truth comes to the surface, a person loses not only his status, authority and image, but also the trust of others. And it is not so easy to restore it.
On the other hand, honesty can also be harmful. As they say in criminal circles: "Witnesses do not live long." And knowledge of the truth and the possibility of revealing it sometimes provokes people to do terrible things.
How are they taught to think?
Even in school years, the problem of writing an essay "Better a bitter truth than a sweet lie" arises. In each such work, you can read different stories about schoolchildren who did something incorrect, but the children became ashamed, and they confessed what they had done.
The thematic story "Bitter truth is better than sweet lie" can have the following format:
“There were two girlfriends in one class. One studied well, while the other subjects were given with difficulty. But the one who did not study well, her mother was ill, and she tried to upset her as little as possible. When there was another test, the girl, who did not study well, wrote off the task from a friend. Of course, she was given an A., but the girl was not happy with such an assessment. She went up to the teacher and honestly said that she copied and asked to put a two. The teacher commended her for her honesty and corrected her grade. But this, on the contrary, made the girl happy, even if she carried a deuce in her briefcase, but quite deserved and honestly earned. "
In these stories, from an early age, we are taught that if you tell the truth, you will feel better. Here, more emphasis is placed on the moral and emotional aspect: they will be praised for the truth, a pleasant feeling of relief will appear from the truth, etc.
What should a decent person do?
From a young age, a person is taught such simple rules of conduct that they are based on truth and conscience:
- Tell only the truth about yourself.
- A decent person is an honest person.
- For an unfulfilled promise, you need to apologize on time.
- Promises should always be kept.
- You always have to be honest.
- You cannot talk about who is not around.
- The opinion about a person should be told to him alone, and not to the public.
On a fine line
As you can see, there are many unaffected gaps in the rules, because a person is constructed in such a way that he cannot speak exclusively the truth. There are situations in life when it is necessary to lie, but you need to be able to assess the situation and understand what is better to say and what is worth keeping silent about. Lie can only be resorted to in the most extreme cases.
In English, "The bitter truth is better than a sweet lie" will sound like this: The bitter truth is better than a sweet lie. But the essence of the expression, expressed in another language, remains unchanged: having lied at least once, a person can forever lose confidence and is doomed to constantly prove the truth of his words.
Why is truth better?
No matter how common lies are, words of truth will always be the best in everyday use. Why is a bitter truth always better than a sweet lie? There are several reasons for this:
- People who tell the truth are always confident in themselves (after all, they are not afraid of exposure).
- They listen to their advice.
- People who tell the truth are both feared and respected.
- Those who tell the truth are in better health than those who lie.
There are thousands of arguments for and against lying. Even in the school curriculum, there is an assignment for writing an essay on this topic.
The essay "Why is a bitter truth better than a sweet lie" is not such a rare occurrence in Russian language lessons. Alternatively, you can build your work as follows:
- Introduction.It is worth talking about the contradiction between truth and lies in society.
- Main part. Write a short story about the importance of truth for a person.
- Final part. Summing up, we can say that you always need to understand the situation before lying.
As an example, you can give the following text:
“A virtuous lie rarely justifies its existence, and the truth, however cruel it may be, is better than a false hope. But in a world where the foundations of society are based on lies, people rarely think about it until something unexpected happens.
A young doctor who came to the clinic not so long ago specialized in diseases nervous system... Once a patient came to him - a boy of 10 years old, who had symptoms of Lou Gehrig's disease. This disease leads to a gradual breakdown of the central nervous system. The person gradually stops walking, moving, talking. He has only two options: either a healthy person turns into a "vegetable", or he dies from failure of the muscles of the respiratory tract.
The doctor did not say anything to the boy about the seriousness of his illness, but only assured that everything would be fine and he would definitely get better. The physician did not want to upset the young patient with the terrible news that he would no longer be able to walk and his life would change forever with the progression of the disease. But the disease took over earlier than the doctor expected. In the morning, when he arrived at the hospital, the young patient was already in the ward and was immobilized. He had to tell the whole truth. The boy cried and could only say one thing: "Doctor, give me back my time."
If the boy had known the truth earlier, he would have had a little time to walk more, talk more and take more from life, while it was possible.
The proverb "Better a bitter truth than a sweet lie" in modern world seems to be an ambiguous phenomenon. On the one hand, we are taught to tell the truth, but on the other, there has always been an etiquette of reticence in society. Here the choice depends solely on the person: he is ready to boldly face the truth and present it, or he will build barricades from fragments of lies, fencing himself off from reality. And when the choice falls on the second scenario, you just need to imagine what will happen when the truth emerges and someone asks: "Give me back my time."
If everything related to truth or lies were simple and understandable, there would be no expression among the people "better a bitter truth than a sweet lie."
Nevertheless, this saying is found in almost all languages \u200b\u200bof the world. Let's figure out which is better and is there really the best of these two evils.
Better means more profitable
Alas, more often than not, when people talk about choice, the advice is aimed solely at achieving their own benefits. Agree, it's ridiculous to somehow follow the advice that will leave you in the "fools". The saying "bitter truth is better than sweet lie" is no exception. What is meant here is not the moral side of the issue, but one's own interests. After all, it is obviously understandable - having told the truth, you will remain "clean", not smearing yourself with the mud of lies. So what if such a truth can cause pain and suffering to someone? "I am clean! - the ego will say. - Yes, it is unpleasant, but it was true!" It turns out that if you move away from the principle known from childhood, nothing terrible will happen? Moreover, can a lie be salutary, while truth can harm and destroy? We'll figure out!
Fools and children always tell the truth
Children don't lie. The kids are so truthful and natural in their rightness that they shamelessly point their fingers at strangers, announcing the space with "unpleasant" questions: "Mom, why is your uncle so fat?", "Why is this aunt dressed like a parrot?"
It is not difficult to guess who is the first to teach a child to lie - of course, the parents. It could be "Shhhh!", Or it could be a slap on the head. And the kid understands that the truth, as it is, can be very unpleasant and even painful. Growing up, the child notices more and more lies around him and he himself is included in this mutually beneficial game. After all, the world is not a holiday, I don’t want to go to school, I don’t want to do my homework, I don’t want my parents to be scolded for a bad grade. We ask ourselves the question: "What is better - a bitter truth than a sweet lie?" in early childhood. However, the issue of truth and honesty only gets worse with age.
Truth alone
You may have heard the expression: "Truth is one." This is a very often used statement when it comes to morality, good and evil, things "right" and "wrong". Meanwhile, it is worth digging deeper, and it turns out that everything is not so simple.
For one person, evil is abstract, for another it is concrete. Someone believes in justice, while others believe that everything is bought and everyone in the world is for himself. Imagine that there is a war between two nations. Ask a representative of one nation - who is right in this war? Of course, he will answer that his side is right, but the opponents are both evil and insidious. But his opponent will also stand his ground, claiming that the truth is on their side. If such a thought experiment does not seem convincing to you, then do your own, real one.
Interview several people (your parents, friends). Ask them the following questions: "What is truth?", "What does it mean to act honestly?", "What is untruth?" You will see that everyone will give their own answer related to their own life experience and baggage of experiences. Finally, ask: "Which is better, a bitter truth or a sweet lie?", And again you will hear different answers. It's simple - a person judges exclusively from his past. Someone faced lies, suffered from it and now does not accept it. And someone has become a victim of the truth, naked and merciless, and now prefers to close their eyes to the facts, to hear lies, but without pain. It turns out that the question: "Which is better, a bitter truth or a sweet lie?" doomed to remain unrequited?
Everyone has their own truth
Sometimes the truth is not easy to come to. As the saying goes: "How many people, so many opinions", which means that in the meantime, deep down everyone knows the correct answer to the question. And this, for all the accumulated experience, for the trauma of the past and the wounds of the present. Each person can deny something out loud, disagree with something in his mind, but deep down we all know the only correct answer.
It doesn't matter what God you believe in and what religion you profess. You can be a convinced atheist and deny the existence of the supreme. And you can have any position in life. But you must agree: in any situation, you always feel that it would be the right decision. No matter what happens, you can clearly say at every moment of time what should be done. But we most often act as it would be more beneficial to us or as circumstances dictate.
What is it for? To the fact that each person always knows what is best. How to do the right thing to make everyone feel good. Moreover, the inner voice sometimes puts the interests of others above its own.
For an inner voice to answer
Each time we are faced with a situation called “bitter truth is better than sweet lie,” we also hear an inner voice. We've been told many times that the truth is always better.
We have heard that the bitterest truth is better than the sweet lie, and sometimes we blindly followed this rule. And tell me honestly - has it always led to good results? Was a person always happy to hear the truth, or would he rather do with a lie? It turns out that half the time you can lie - and it will be for the good.
Don't follow stereotypes
Forget about the so-called rules if you want to live happily ever after on this planet! Who told us that a bitter truth is better than a sweet lie? Parents who taught us to lie themselves. Teachers who are not role models.
Other people who are delusional. All the rules are invented by people, and what they invented does not work in almost half of the cases. Do not ask yourself the question: "Better a bitter truth than a sweet lie - is that so?" Think back to your life situations when you followed this rule. Did this lead to a good result? Has the truth caused you and people suffering? There is no truth! There are a million circumstances and situations, and there are many ways out of them.
The only truth is not to hurt yourself and others. If harm is the so-called "truth," then sometimes a sweet lie is better than a bitter truth.
When can you lie
You yourself know the answer to the question of the ethics of lying. You can lie when the truth can destroy and hurt. This is not about blissful ignorance. But the fact is that sometimes the truth can completely turn the course of human life, make it worse. A person may be so unprepared for the truth that it can literally kill him. In this case, the dilemma “better bitter truth than sweet lie” should not even arise.
Focus on your inner voice
Even being raised in certain traditions, we still always know the best version of our behavior or reaction. Man is not a machine, not a robot or an animal.
Yes, sometimes we are guided by instincts, sometimes by upbringing, but nothing can drown out the voice of the soul and heart. People who live in harmony with their inner instincts are the most calm - because they always act "in the truth." Of course, not all actions in this case will be due to their own benefit, and, nevertheless, they will be the best choice.
Forget about stereotypes. Don't be bothered about choosing anything - these are created by humans for fun. Live according to what your heart tells you. This is the best compass in life's ups and downs.
Introduction ……………………………………………………………… .3
Chapter 1. Philosophical view ……………………………………… ..4
Clause 1. "Heavy" truth ………………………………………… ..4
Clause 2. Pleasant delusion …………………………………… ..7
Clause 3. Separation of lies ………………………… .............................. 9
Clause 4. Harm of truth …………………………………………… ... 10
Item 5. Golden mean ……………………………………… ... 11
Chapter 2. Modern view ……………………………………… ..13
Item 6. Is it worth lying? ........................................... ..........................13
Item 7. Survey …………………………………………………… ..14
Clause 8. Modern opinions ……………………………………… 15
Conclusion …………………………………………………………… 17
List of used literature ………………………………… ..18
Introduction.
I think that every person at least once in his life faced a choice: to reveal the true state of affairs or to embellish the situation, if appropriate. This is a difficult choice, many even suffer from the fact that they have to choose. There are people who are born liars; there are those who hate lies and prefer the truth; and there are people for whom there are certain situations where lying is considered appropriate and necessary.
So which is better: a pleasant delusion or a "bitter" truth, sometimes even a sad one? I want to consider this issue as precisely as possible and delve as deeply as possible into the essence of the problem, find out what people prefer in our time and whether their preferences agree with their actions, as well as draw certain conclusions for myself.
Chapter 1. Philosophical view.
"Children and fools always tell the truth," says
ancient wisdom. The conclusion is clear: adults and
wise people never tell the truth. "
Mark Twain
Quite a lot of events happen in our life: joy, sadness, luck, love, etc. All good events always alternate with less joyful events. They cannot even be called bad, and rather they are not even events, but certain obstacles that a person has to face. If you think about it, you can see one very important detail - no matter what, people always demand a "bitter" truth, reliable information, and not a "sweet" lie. We often believe in a fairy tale, we live behind those pink glasses, and the reality is much deceitful and meaner. Hiding behind dreams, we do not notice a simple needle in this beautiful world, which, oddly enough, can painfully "prick" us.
Point 1. "Heavy" truth.
The most common misconception concerns human feelings and relationships. I recall the work "Woe from Wit" by A.S. Griboyedova and one of the main characters Sophia, who, having fallen in love with Molchanin, accepts his romantic impulse as a gift of fate that will help her become happy . However, all her hopes and dreams collapse at one moment, when, after seeing the scene of the declaration of love between Molchanin and the servant, she realizes how erroneous her opinion about her beloved was before.
Disappointment is the eternal companion of delusion. And the later the true picture is revealed, the more difficult it is to accept and experience, and the main thing is to change something for the better in your life. For example, in Germany, doctors tell patients the whole truth, telling cancer patients about the severity of their condition, and it seems to me that by this they are only atbeat them with the desire to resist and fight for their lives. Of course, miracles rarely happen, but maybe they don't happen at all, but you can't take away hope from a person.
German scientists tried to figure it out, they interviewed a number of people and asked them just one question, what they would like "a bitter truth or a sweet lie." Here's what we found out during this survey: “ After examining the patient, the doctor discovered a malignant tumor. And what to do next? To lie to the patient, calling stomach cancer an ulcer, lung cancer - bronchitis, and thyroid cancer - an endemic goiter, or tell him about a terrible diagnosis? It turns out that most patients prefer the second option. A sociological survey conducted among oncology patients in various hospitals in the UK showed that 90 percent of them need truthful information. Moreover, 62% of patients would like not only to find out the diagnosis, but also to hear from the doctor a description of the disease and the probable prognosis of its course, and 70% decided to inform their families about the disease. An important role in determining preferences is played by the patient's age - for example, among patients over 80 years old, 13% prefer to remain ignorant, and among their younger “brothers”, unfortunately, 6%. All this suggests that most people prefer the truth, no matter how bitter it is, and no matter what problems it brings in the future.
In love, for example, we often overestimate our chosen one, the sincerity of his intentions: perhaps his words are at odds with his actions. " 40% of women, meeting men, underestimate their age"- the series" The Theory of Lies ". " Lie primarily to those they love"- Nadine de Rothschild. From this we can conclude that when we are mistaken in some matter that is significant for us, we descend into the world of illusions, creating a fairy tale that pleases not only us, but many other people as well.
On the one hand, a "sweet" lie, or as it is also called "a lie to save" is quite appropriate. But do you want to lie to your loved ones? After all, this lie can lead by no means to a positive outcome, but to pain and disappointment.
I don't like it when people lie to my face
Trying to keep me out of pain!
I don't like being told the wrong thing;
That at first they wanted to say so!
I hate the pity of the eyes
That pierce my soul!
I hate, I hate
When they say one thing, and I hear another!
I do not accept sweet speeches
Which are so flattering and false!
I hate a world where you are nobody's
Where everyone is afraid of the truth, everyone is cowardly!
I do not want deception and lies
I do not want pity and flattery!
I hope I deserve the truth
And I dream of only one truth.
Let it be bitter, like a straight arrow,
Not the one that is so nice to hear
May it hurt me sometimes
Let the heart only hear the truth! 1
It seems to me that this poem shows us very well that a person not only does not want to hear a lie, he also hates it. In his work, the author speaks of the truth as something sacred that must be earned.
« When in doubt, tell the truth" - Mark Twain. This
1
the quote is correct, because having lied, it is you who have to untangle all the threads that you have wound. A pleasant delusion can only help at first, but then it will be much worse.
And as they say in the feature film "Brother-2": "- Tell me, American, what is the strength? Here is a brother who says that strength is in money. You threw someone, you became richer, so what? I believe the power is in the TRUTH, who is right is stronger».
Point 2. Pleasant misconception.
In contrast, I want to quote, unfortunately, I do not remember the correct presentation, so I will change it in my own way: “ If you want to harm a person, then it is not necessary to slander and gossip, it is enough to tell the truth about him". People really always want the truth, they try to find it. Although they themselves only do what they hide, conceal, keep silent. Do you often tell the truth to your superiors? Do you often tell the truth about what you really think about your friends, acquaintances? Have you ever told the whole truth about yourself? Without concealing anything, to your parents, for example? Or to the same friends?
I think the answer will be no, the truth is too "bitter". " The unpleasant truth, inevitable death and a mustache in women are three things we don't want to notice. " TV series "Lie theory". We are at work to colleagues, talking about the happy life of our family. We are time for relatives, without talking about problems at work. Also time for friends so that they do not think that in some situation we feel weak and helpless. The worst thing in all this is that any, even a small lie, is subsequently revealed.
And how can you believe your family, friends, colleagues after that? If you are constantly missing out. " We like people who boldly tell us what they think, provided that they think the same way we do" - Mark Twain. 2 All this leads to the loss of loved ones, friends, because now they
2
believe that you do not trust them, since you have always kept something hidden.
And the worst thing is that your harmless lie can turn into a "big" one that borders on treason. So maybe you should train yourself to tell the truth?
As an example, I would like to cite an old parable about the truth:
Man, by all means,
I set out to find the truth.
I put a lot of effort on it,
It was not easy for him on the way:
Traveled the untrodden road
And in the frost, and in the rain, and in the summer heat,
He wounded his feet about stones and blood,
He lost weight and became like a gray-haired harrier.
But he achieved his cherished goal -
After long wanderings and losses
He is in the hut of Truth indeed
He opened the unlocked door.
An ancient old woman was sitting there.
It was evident that no guests were expected.
The man asked, gathering his courage:
- Isn't your name Pravda?
- It's me, - the hostess answered.
And the Seeker then exclaimed:
- Humanity has always believed
That you are beautiful and young.
If I reveal the Truth to people,
Will they be happier?
Smiling at our hero
Truth whispered: "Lie."
Item 3. Separation of lies.
« The average person lies three times in ten minutes of conversation". This is a quote from The Theory of Lies. A person is so constructed that he cannot help but lie, lies are part of our life. Even when we are asked - "How are you?", We answer - "everything is fine" or "normal", regardless of what state we really are, simply justifying this by the fact that we do not want to share problems with those around us is not enough acquaintances, people. Agree, this is a small lie, but still. By answering this way almost every day, we get used to the lie and in order to somehow justify it, we begin to divide the lie: into positive and negative.
Lies are good or bad
Compassionate or merciless
Lies can be clever and awkward
Discreet and reckless
Delightful and bleak
Too complicated and too simple.
Lies are sinful and holy
It can be modest and elegant,
Outstanding and ordinary
Frank, impartial,
And it is just vanity.
Lies can be scary and funny
Either omnipotent, now completely powerless,
Now humiliated, now wayward,
Fleeting or protracted.
Lies are wild and tame
It is everyday life and ceremonial,
Inspirational, boring and different ...
The truth is only true ...
The fact that we begin to share lies can be explained as protection? Or is it still an excuse? How can our “normal” harm people? With nothing, however, gradually, we will begin to deceive not only others , but also themselves.
When we have a lot of problems, we sit and console ourselves that “everything is fine,” “everything is fine,” and we do not take any action to solve the difficulties.
But not all are like that, there are people who are like an open book, they always say what they feel, talk about their plans for the future. A lot of people have to work hard not to give away the whole truth.
Unfortunately, in our time, people who tell the truth are not appreciated. As proof, you can take the words of Robert Green: “ Reckless openness leads to the fact that you become so predictable, so understandable that it is almost impossible to respect or fear you, and power does not submit to a person who is unable to evoke such feelings.».
Clause 4. Harm of truth.
Honesty can cause invaluable harm, both mental and physical. For the truth, they can harm your relatives, close people or kill you. Knowing the truth and the likelihood of spreading it pushes many people to do terrible things or drives them to the grave.
It may be better to adjust and tell people what they want to hear rather than what you actually think or feel. . After all, the truth can bring disappointment and pain not only to the people to whom you speak it, but also to yourself. As proof, you can recall a quote from the work "The Tale of Fedot the Archer, a daring fellow":
"Is it good or bad news, -
Report it to me as it is!
Better bitter, but true
Than pleasant, but flattery!
Only if the enta news
It will be again - not God knows,
You are for such a truth
You can sit down for ten years! " - (King to General) 3
Life is incredibly difficult and, unfortunately, lying is often the only way out. Although if we take into account the quote of M. Bulgakov: " The tongue can hide the truth, but the eyes cannot", then it turns out that we can recognize when they lie to us, and when they tell the truth? However, it seems to me that this is not so. After all, if this were possible, humanity would not have existed for so long.
We cannot determine whether a person is lying to us or not. But because of the desire to know the truth, a person is looking for various ways to determine a lie, one such example is a lie detector. However, people with experience of passing it say that a person who is well trained or knows how to control his emotions can easily deceive the detector. The phrase from the TV series "The Theory of Lies" fits very well here: " No crisis in the business of lies". Since people always lie, regardless of the object of their lie, be it a person or a machine, which, as it seems at first glance, was taught to separate the truth from the lie .
Point 5. The golden mean.
There is always a middle ground. There are situations when you need to lie. And it seems that this is the most correct way. But you need to understand that you should tell the truth or lies in moderation, taking into account all the circumstances. Because " Often the question is not whether someone is lying, the question is,
3 http://www.foxdesign.ru/aphorism/author/a_filatov2.html
why"- the series" The Theory of Lies ". So, for example, Indians also said:
"With a friend, with a wife, with an old father
do not share your truth entirely.
Without resorting to deception and lies,
tell everyone whatever is appropriate ”.
Source - Panchatantra. Handbook of Indian princes.
Agree, there is no such person on earth who would never lie. Lies have taken root in our society. " Nobody can speak only the truth - this is subjective; we evaluate all points of view of personal experience - this is the truth"- the series" The Theory of Lies ". We sometimes do not even notice that the time. On the other hand, if everyone always spoke the truth, there would be no love or peace. There is nothing you can do about lying, but it seems to me that it is worth resorting to it only in the most extreme cases. Use "lies to the rescue."
Chapter 2. Modern view.
As stated earlier, lies have become firmly established in our lives. We are every day, sometimes on purpose, and sometimes without even realizing it, because this is a common habit.
All people, absolutely everyone, want to know the truth and say that they would prefer to hear only it. But ask yourself - how often do you yourself tell the truth? Do you deserve to know the very truth you want? First, do not forget that everything secret becomes clear; secondly, even the most, in my opinion, terrible news can be presented in different ways. You can escalate the situation, panic, speak with pessimism, or you can simply calm down, say that the problem is solvable, and that together you can find ways to solve it.
Item 6. Is it worth lying?
As I have often observed, trust, love, and friendship are cracked by seemingly harmless lies. I met an acquaintance on the street, sat and chatted in a cafe, of course she told the young man that she had gone shopping with a friend. Well, who knew that this very friend called him at that moment and was looking for me? Or, for example, such a situation: he told his wife that he was doing a report at work, and he himself was at the birth of a very nice employee. I lied to my wife because she doesn't like it when you go or stay at such events. And when she met you at the door, drunk, and three kilometers from you smelled of female perfume, believe me, she had already painted such pictures for herself that it would be extremely difficult to convince her otherwise. And then prove that nothing happened, and that you are faithful.
Now, after all, even what you said, the truth, will be perceived as a lie. After all, we do not trust people who have lied to us before, even when they tell the truth. Suffice it to recall the parable about the boy and the wolf, in which the boy lied that a wolf was attacking the sheep, but when this actually happened, no one believed him.
And this is true, because no relationship will be lasting if lies prevail in them. Therefore, it is worth thinking before telling a lie, even the most harmless one.
Item 7. Survey.
I conducted a survey among my friends. The question was as follows: "What do you prefer more: the" bitter "truth or the" sweet "lie?" More than 100 people took part. The results were quite expected, considering what I was talking about at the beginning of the second paragraph.
"Bitter truth - 91.43%
"Sweet lie - 8.57%
We can see that the vast majority prefer the truth. But I am more than sure that each of them lied at certain moments in their lives and every day they also lie, for example, to teachers, or when it was necessary, for example, to avoid the punishment of their mother. True, during the discussion, some difficulties arose. Here are the words of two of my friends from over 100 people interviewed.
Anna Kozlova - " Hmm, I sit and think for five minutes ... On the one hand, the truth, because I still recognize it in any case .... and on the other, it sometimes happens that it is better not to know it at all.<…> In any case, now, by the way, no one will answer you the truth, because it all depends on what the truth is, how bitter it is. It's just that what I thought about - here, yes, definitely a lie, although the realization that I (a lion, by the way, according to the zodiac) are loaf, just causes nausea in me, but someday all the lies have always been revealed and here it is doubly painful - for still and you realize that you were deceived ... <…> Only until it is revealed. Personal experience shows that the probability of disclosure is 99%. I'm pretty convincingly lying, but everything secret becomes clear, even after a year, after 2, even after 10 years, but it will become!»
Alexey Yusipov - " Everyone wants to hear the bitter truth, and then they still resent what they heard. In our world, the "bitter" truth is superfluous information that does not need to be said, but for someone to hear it. Well, lies are good.<…> Sometimes the truth puts other people at risk. For example, some super-hero will reveal his identity to a lady in love, and then she will be under threat. The most striking example. In life, there are so many».
So, the "bitter" truth. I wanted to write to them that if you want to make more enemies for yourself, then always, to everyone, under any circumstances, tell the truth. Imagine walking down the street and you see a fat man. Just go up to him and tell the truth that you do not like his appearance, then, in intensive care, you will have something to think about.
In general, it is even better to start fighting for the truth. Great idea. Let's see what happens to you after the start of all this action. And, in the end, you ask yourself: "Do I need it?" " Truth is the most precious thing we have; let's spend it carefully" - Mark Twain.
Item 8. Modern opinions.
So what is better: the "bitter" truth or the "sweet" lie? Maxim Gorky in the play "At the Bottom" tried to understand this through the lips of his heroes. Acting as Satine, he says: “Lies are the religion of slaves and masters. Truth is the God of a free man. " Do you need the so-called "lie for salvation?" And here are the answers we hear now:
«« Bitter "truth is a person's right to suffer, sweet lies are our duty to give him the opportunity to avoid it. »
« Lies are sweet because they support the illusion as a narcotic drug, the illusion of integrity and happiness. »
« Secret, ALWAYS become apparent. Probably, a lie is needed in critical situations, for example, when the life of another person is threatened. Or at home. What is better: to say: yes, I have a lover, and to ruin the family? Or deny it and keep the family? And such ambiguous situations of choice are endless ... » .
It seems to me that you need to lie in very small quantities or not lie at all. Sooner or later, fate will make you pay for this lie, even if it’s salvation. . Based on my experience, I can only say, it is better to tell the truth.
Conclusion.
I considered the statement that "bitter truth is better than sweet lie." The conclusion is that people in our time prefer the truth whatever it may be, but they themselves very often do not finish. Lies are already a part of ourselves and we will not get away from this.
Tell the truth or hide something? There is no answer to this question, each has its own criteria and its own framework, as well as its own understanding of this statement. And yet, the majority choose the middle ground and believe in the "lie for salvation."
KNOW AND BELIEVE
We are shaken from edge to edge.
On the edges - there are doors.
The last one says "I know"
And the first one says "I believe."
And possessing one head,
You will never enter both doors -
If you believe, then you believe without knowing
If you know, you know without believing.
And shaping your consciousness,
Every day from the moment of birth,
We wander along the road of knowledge
And with knowledge comes doubt.
And the mystery will remain eternal -
Learned foreheads will not help:
If we know, they are negligible.
If we believe, they are infinitely strong. 4
4 http://www.lebed.com/2002/art3163.htm
Bibliography.
Balyazin V. - “The Wisdom of Millennia. Encyclopedia "- M .: OLMA-Press, 2005
Gorky M. - “At the bottom. Summer Residents "- M .:" Children's Literature "- 2010
Griboyedov A.S. - "Woe from Wit" - M .: "Pravda" - 1996
Robert Greene - "The 48 Laws of Power"
Panchatantra. Handbook of Indian princes.
Paul Ekman - "The Psychology of Lies" - W. W. Norton & Company - 2003
The series "Theory of Lies" - 1, 2, 3 seasons
http://www.proza.ru/avtor/196048
http://www.wtr.ru/aphorism/new42.htmAbstract \u003e\u003e Psychology
To diseases. Girls it's better developed tactile sensitivity and sensitivity ... Religion and culture. - M .: true, 1990-p. 243-244 Rubinstein M.M. Question ... to explain the meaning of the proverb: “ It's better bitter, true, than sweet false. " How to explain the meaning ...
This was the most ordinary married couple. His name was Sergei, her - Alla. He is a little over thirty, she is a little less. Work, apartment - everything is like people. There are probably thousands of such couples, and maybe even millions. It seems to me that they probably had children. All ordinary married couples have children. And, like all ordinary married couples, they had their own quirk.
Your own quirk is an absolutely essential thing for every ordinary married couple. If not for these quirks, they simply would not be possible to distinguish from each other. Someone, for example, climbs the mountains, someone grows cacti, and someone's children are engaged in ballroom dancing. Alla and Sergei had the most unusual quirk - they did not hide anything from each other.
They used to sit with friends at the table, chat, drink dry wine. Someone will demonstrate their photos against the background of Elbrus, someone will tell excitedly how Echinopsis-lobivia blossomed last night, someone about children ... And Sergei will suddenly look at Alla with such a long, intent look and say meaningfully: " And Allochka and I do not hide anything from each other. " Alla answers him with a clear look - it is immediately clear that she really is not going to hide anything. And all the guests here, of course, respectfully shut up. And still - they have nothing to cover.
Of course, if you look at this issue objectively, you will have to admit that in fact they had absolutely nothing to tell each other. They were a friendly, loving family and did not allow themselves any such liberties. Well, think for yourself: do not admit to Allochka how she for a moment held her gaze on the jeans-covered buttocks of the young electrician who was changing the wiring in their office. Or: is it worth it to Sergei to tell what exactly he thought when he accidentally saw how Yanochka the secretary pulled up her black fishnet stockings. All these insignificant episodes do not say anything at all and, really, do not even deserve a mention.
One evening Alla was returning home from work, as usual, taking a shortcut through the grove adjacent to the neighborhood. There was nothing exceptional in such an act: the places here were unusually calm, and at that time on the path one could only meet neighbors walking before dinner. Therefore, she walked completely calmly and serenely, brushing off mosquitoes and enjoying the fresh forest air.
Suddenly a little old man, almost a dwarf, stepped out from behind a tree onto the path, carefully stepping over his lacquered boots. He wore a button-down yellow plaid coat and a navy blue Borsalino hat pulled down to his ears. In his left hand the old man was holding a cane, and in his right a rather shabby old-fashioned bag of pigskin. Standing right in front of the woman, he looked ingratiatingly into her eyes and said politely:
- Hello, madam.
Of course, Allochka just had to walk by, not paying attention to this strange little man. But, unfortunately, she was a well-mannered and intelligent woman. Besides, no one has ever called her madam. Therefore, stopping, Allochka politely replied to the greeting:
- Hello.
"Meow to me, madam," said the old man. - Only three times. Please, I beg you.
"Abnormal," Alla thought, and said aloud:
- Sorry, I need to go.
With these words, she tried to go around the old man from the side. But he, taking a step to the side, blocked her path and said plaintively:
- Well, meow, please. I'll pay you. Twenty-five thousand dollars.
Alla has never had to deal with crazy people. She looked around helplessly, but there was no one around who could help the confused woman. Meanwhile, the old man was repeating tearfully:
- Well, please meow. Only three times. I beg you very much, madam.
Seeing no other opportunity to get rid of the annoying psycho, burning with shame, Alla quietly said: "Meow, meow, meow."
“Thank you, madam,” the old man said calmly and, opening his briefcase, pulled out five green packets, one after the other, tied with paper tape. Alla was so stunned by what was happening that she did not even recoil when he put these packs in her stiff palms.
Having politely said goodbye, the strange man disappeared into the forest, as if he had never been there. Alla, probably, could think that this whole strange story just dreamed of her, if not for this, quite real, heap of dollars in her hands ...
Her purse was too small to hold that much money. Alla did not manage to close the "zipper", and bundles of dollars stuck defiantly out of her shamelessly opened mouth. I had to wrap them up in an old yellowed newspaper, fortunately found right there on the path.
Clutching this unpresentable bundle to her chest, cringing under the perplexed glances of her neighbors, Alla almost ran to the door of her apartment.
Sergei was not there yet. Spreading dollars on the couch, she carefully examined the green bills with portraits of American presidents. The story that happened to her was absolutely incredible, but the money turned out to be quite real. It was only completely incomprehensible how to explain their origin to her husband. Not thinking of anything better, Alla put them neatly in a plastic bag and hid them in a basket with dirty laundry.
Several days passed. Alla is already accustomed to the idea that she has such an unthinkable amount of money at her disposal and even slowly began to think about how best to spend it. However, for this it was necessary to devote Sergei to the incredible story of the appearance of such wealth. After a little reflection, she decided to tell him everything as it is. It was not for nothing that she and her husband decided not to hide anything from each other.
- In a plaid coat, you say? - Sergei stared at her, tilting his head to one side.
- Yes, - Alla answered, - in a coat and a hat.
- What do you think I look like an idiot?
- No, Seryozha. You don't look like an idiot at all.
“Then why do you think I’m going to believe this baby talk?”
- I told you the truth, Seryozha. All the truth. - Alla for some reason did not dare to raise her eyes to her husband.
He stood up and, walking around his chair, turned to face his wife, clutching the wooden back with his whitened knuckles.
- Alla, please ... tell me the truth. No matter how bitter it may be.
She was silent, intuitively understanding that any of her words would only further strengthen her husband in his suspicions.
Sergei spent the night alone, making a bed for himself in the living room on the sofa.
From that ill-fated day, all of them family life went awry. In the evenings, returning from work, Sergei, without saying a word, lay down on his sofa, leaving untouched the dinner she had carefully prepared. The cold silence of alienation settled in the house. Alla realized that the ship of her marriage would soon sink completely and irrevocably. If, of course, you do not take any emergency measures to save him ...
That evening, when Sergei was already covering his sofa with a sheet, Alla quietly entered the living room and said in a breaking whisper:
- Seryozha ... I want to tell you the whole truth ...
They sat down at the table in the kitchen and, having drunk a little dry wine for courage, Alla told her husband how she came across a group of bandits in the grove. They invited her to fulfill their most base desires and, for their diligence, presented a small, by their standards, amount of money. To be sure, she added a number of physiological details that, in her opinion, should have made the story believable.
With physiological details, Alla, apparently, went a little too far, because after listening to her story to the end, Sergei got up and left the house ...
He wandered the night streets for a long time, not remembering himself from pain and despair. Then, for some reason, he wandered into the station and, peering into the drunken faces of cheap prostitutes, tortured himself, trying to imagine how exactly his Alla satisfied the base desires of the bandits.
Late at night, when sleep and fatigue took their toll, he returned home, reasonably judging that this apartment belonged to him, as well as to his wife. And her vile behavior still does not give the right to drive him out into the street like a dog.
Hearing the turn of the key in the door lock, Alla smiled. Women's intuition told her that, despite her husband's impetuous reaction, her decision was the only correct one. Turning on her side, she, for the first time in recent days, fell asleep in a healthy, serene sleep.
For two days of completely ignoring his wife, Sergei exhausted all his emotional resources and, devastated, decided to have a serious talk with Alla, in order to finally clarify all relations.
Alla sat in front of him, humbly lowered her eyes and folded her hands on her tightly shifted knees. Her soul was filled with a joyful foreboding of reconciliation.
- Alla, you and I need to seriously talk.
She nodded almost imperceptibly.
- Alla ... - Sergey began. “Of course you did a terrible thing. But, nevertheless, I respect you for finding the strength to tell me the whole truth, no matter how ugly it may be.
Allochka shifted a little in her chair, as if agreeing with the proposed assessment of the situation.
“The most important thing,” Sergey continued, “is that you haven't hidden anything from me. And therefore, in spite of everything, I hope we will be able to maintain our mutual trust.
To cope with the excitement, Sergei took a short pause. Alla was still silent.
- Alla ... - Sergey continued. - It seems to me that I could forgive you, if, of course, you promise me that it will never, ... never happen again.
- Never again! - Allochka vigorously promised and, jumping up from the chair, hugged her husband tightly, pressing her body, yearning for male affection, to him.
For twenty-five thousand dollars, Alla and Sergei made a very decent renovation in their apartment. The remaining money was quite enough for them to purchase an inexpensive foreign car, as well as many unnecessary, but such tempting things that, in fact, decorate our unsightly gray reality.
Their family life gradually returned to normal. As before, they are raising children and meeting friends. However, now, when Sergei, looking meaningfully at his wife, says: "But Allochka and I do not hide anything from each other," she silently lowers her eyes and thinks about something of her own, female.
Each person more than once in his life faced a choice: whether to reveal the true state of affairs or to embellish the situation, if it would be more favorable in this case.
Let's speculate: which is better: a pleasant delusion or a pure truth, sometimes even a sad one.
In life, completely different events happen: joy gives way to sadness, Fortune's smiles alternate with certain obstacles.
Thinking about the relationship of what is happening with our thoughts and actions, one cannot fail to notice one very important detail: in spite of everything, it is much more preferable to know correct, truthful information than to enjoy pleasant, but false information.
After all, if we begin to believe in a fairy tale, which, in fact, does not exist, then sooner or later this fact will make itself felt: one careless step can change fate in an absolutely opposite direction. Being held captive by illusions, a person ceases to assess the situation in real time. He sees only the outer shell of the circumstances, not noticing the inner one and not paying attention to the "pitfalls" of this or that case.
One of the most common misconceptions most often becomes a misunderstanding of the feelings of the people around. A veil of romantic inspiration envelops the eyes and sometimes does not allow us to understand how sincere the words of a loved one are.
We know the example of Sophia, the main character of the poem by A.S. Griboyedov. "Woe from Wit", which, having fallen in love with Molchanin, a modest but selfish servant of the girl's father, first accepts his romantic impulse as a gift of fate, which finally made her happy. But everything is revealed in one moment: after seeing the scene of the declaration of love between Molchanin and the sweet servant, Sophia realizes how wrong she was.
Disappointment is an indispensable companion to any delusion. The later the real picture of life becomes clearer, the more painful and difficult it is to accept the truth, to understand its essence, and most importantly, to change your life for the better.
In love, for example, it sometimes happens that we overestimate the sincerity of the chosen one's intentions: perhaps his words are at odds with his actions.
So, being mistaken in some significant issue, we plunge into a world of illusion, and it, most likely, will not be able to lead us on the right path leading to success. On the one hand, in some cases, a pleasant lie, or, as it is commonly called, a lie in the name of salvation, seems to be the only actual solution. But, on the other hand, why mislead our dearest and closest people; wishing them well in this way, we may doom them to unpleasant consequences: disappointment, resentment, sad thoughts.
Therefore, in our quest for a successful career and a harmonious atmosphere, we should not forget that all this can be achieved only if we clearly see the picture of events. If the reality is clearly embellished, one day it will become known, the shadows will disappear, the secrets will be revealed.
According to Mark Twain, "when in doubt, you must speak the truth." Indeed, you should not invent non-existent facts, because it is you who will have to untangle the threads of fate.
A pleasant delusion can only help for a while, it does not allow life energy to be realized in full force, which means that a person risks missing an unexpected gift from His Majesty Chance.
The illustration was found on the Internet.
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